Online, a blog that gives advice for dealing with autistic children said that they should be allowed to stim. A few neurotypical people (mainly parents of autistic children) were angry with this because, as they saw it, this would lead to other children avoiding them, leading to loneliness. I decided to reply with my opinion: that these consequences suggest more of a problem with society than with autistic children.
Now, I should point out at this point that I clearly have “Aspie” in my username, and as far as I can work out I was the only autistic person in the conversation. The first response was along the lines of “It’s unrealistic to change society to match our children”. I’d disagree with this personally, society has changed in the past and can in the future, but that’s just a matter of opinion.
Now, I should point out at this point that I clearly have “Aspie” in my username, and as far as I can work out I was the only autistic person in the conversation. The first response was along the lines of “It’s unrealistic to change society to match our children”. I’d disagree with this personally, society has changed in the past and can in the future, but that’s just a matter of opinion.
The next comment was the one that caused the meltdown. “Stimming makes them want to stim even more” (emphasis mine). THEM. Like I wasn’t even in the conversation. Also, from my own experience and asking around on some other autism blogs, the opposite is true.
I then realised that earlier in the discussion, somebody referred to “kids with autism (as opposed to high-functioning aspies)” - so anything I said in reply would have been dismissed because I’m “not autistic enough” (which is rich, coming from NT people).
Someone else (also NT) replied to the society comments agreeing with me. The response was “Do you have a child with autism?” Because you can’t know anything about it unless you have an autistic child, but if you’re actually autistic then you also can’t know anything, apparently. Someone else mentioned that people shouldn’t “go after the parents”. But going after the actually autistic people, ignoring us, talking about us to our faces, is fine.
One meltdown later and it’s now the next morning. I don’t know how to deal with this. Blocking seems too harsh, if I just don’t reply they’ll feel like they’ve won, and if I DO reply it’s probably just going to lead to another meltdown. What do you all think?
I then realised that earlier in the discussion, somebody referred to “kids with autism (as opposed to high-functioning aspies)” - so anything I said in reply would have been dismissed because I’m “not autistic enough” (which is rich, coming from NT people).
Someone else (also NT) replied to the society comments agreeing with me. The response was “Do you have a child with autism?” Because you can’t know anything about it unless you have an autistic child, but if you’re actually autistic then you also can’t know anything, apparently. Someone else mentioned that people shouldn’t “go after the parents”. But going after the actually autistic people, ignoring us, talking about us to our faces, is fine.
One meltdown later and it’s now the next morning. I don’t know how to deal with this. Blocking seems too harsh, if I just don’t reply they’ll feel like they’ve won, and if I DO reply it’s probably just going to lead to another meltdown. What do you all think?
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